One thing good about Kevin being at Little Company of Mary Hospital is the chapel there. I love going inside to pray. I have visited that chapel many times over the years even when Kevin wasn’t a patient, because of the presence of God’s holiness, which permeates the atmosphere there. It’s actually quite tangible. Anyway, I had a rough time this morning, maybe because it’s so soon after my Mom’s passing and I’m still pretty raw emotionally. Maybe because Kevin is now dealing with an issue of fluid around his heart instead of a kidney issue, which I’m more used to dealing with. Maybe it’s just that it’s been 21 years of this journey and I’m getting a little worn around the edges and my coping skills have become frayed. I need Jesus more than ever and I just couldn’t seem to pull it together this morning and go to the hospital, so I let my hero go in without me. Thank you Jeff, for always being so strong.

Well, after having a dear friend who lives across the country prayed for me over me over the phone, and a few hours of just camping out in the word, I finally felt that supernatural feeling come over me. His strength filled my body with His grace. I didn’t have any reserve left, so that’s why I know it was supernatural. I couldn’t have dragged myself there on my own human strength, but God did give me the daily bread I needed as I sat with the All Sufficient One and received from Him. Wow. What a Father!~

I arrived at the hospital around 12:30 in the afternoon and I stopped by for a brief period before going up to my son’s room to pray and read my bible in the peaceful setting of the sanctuary. The moment I knelt, my face became wet with tears and I knew it was going to be one of those times. He listened as I poured out my mother’s heart and begged for His tender mercy and healing hands of grace to touch my son Kevin once again, and to hold his life wholly and securely in His hands. And then I also prayed the most daring prayer of all….Let Your will be done, Jesus. Whatever your will, I know it’s what’s best, just give me the grace to face it all.

As I gazed at the Cross, my prayers descended to a deeper level – a dimension so sacred that I knew the Holy Spirit had taken over my prayers. I offered the Lord my life, my will and my deepest desire for my son’s healing. Immediately, I felt his peace wash over me. I knew he had heard my heart’s cry, and it was settled. I looked down at my bible in hand and just let it fall open. The Scripture verse that leapt up off the page was from Hebrews 5:7.

“During the days of Jesus’ life on earth he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.”

REVERENT SUBMISSION…was what caught the Father’s attention, is why He heard his cries and petitions. I felt the power of this truth bring healing to old wounds where scars from old false teachings had left their mark on my soul.

My prayers today were heard, not because I conjured up enough faith,

My prayers today were heard, not because I quoted the right Scripture verses (although this is an effective and powerful way to pray)

My prayers were heard because of my reverent submission.

What a joy, what a freedom, what a relief in knowing that I didn’t have to do another thing. He heard it all and once again, He has shown Himself to be faithful and in control. My son’s health issues was not the work of the enemy, it’s his body’s response to a weakened earthly tent. True, the devil tries to raise fear and loves to torment our mind with his lies. But my eyes are on the Lord’s face and my mind is taken captive to the truth of his word. I know that his will is always for our very best. I’ve come to learn this, as painful as it has been. Maybe tomorrow will bring us good news, some answers or just another pause and we’ll go on another day, another month, until we meet another crisis.

He truly is an ever present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

By His grace,

Carrie